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Tiki's jokes page

Hey kids           Updated September 2016

Please send me your best jokes to add to this page!joke's on you!  How do you do that? Look at the yellow box on the right to find out.

Now read on... and get ready to laugh!!!

Kids:
Would you like to see your favourite joke on this page? If you think that's a cool idea, all you need to do is this. Send me an email with

  • your joke
  • your first name
  • your age and the
  • the country where you live. Other kids will want to know so please remember because I don't put jokes on without name, age and country! Thank you!


Click to send me an email. Please don't delete the subject line of your email which should read: "Joke for Tiki".
Thanks!


from Oliver, age 13, England (UK)

So I went to the binocular shop and I tell you what, they saw me comin’!

So this guy said to me, he said “Do you want to have a look at our stretchers?” and I said “No tanks, I don’t want to get carried away!”


from Yashika, age 11, U.S.A

Q. Pretend you are a bus driver
You go to stop one and pick up 10 passengers
Then at stop 2 you drop 3 and pick up 1 passenger
Then, stop three, you pick up 6 and drop 3
Last stop everyone leaves except 2 people
Who was the bus driver?

Answer. You are !


from Elyssa, age 11, Singapore

Q.How do you put an elephant inside the fridge?
A.Open the fridge door,put the elephant in and close the fridge door.
Q.How do you put a giraffe inside the fridge?
A.Open the fridge door,take out the elephant,put the giraffe in and close the fridge door.
Q.When a tarzan shouts,all the animals come to him.Which animal did not come to him and why?
A.The giraffe.It is inside the fridge!


from Leah, age 9, Ireland

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?????????????????
To see his flat mate

Knock knock
who's there ?
leaf
leaf who?
Leaf me alone


from Sofia, age 12, USA

Can February March?
No, but April May!


from Itza, age 7, USA

Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A: A gummy bear


from Elizabeth, age 10, England

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?

Go ahead. You can guess. And if you’ve seen this joke before, MOVE ON! - says Elizabeth

A: An Impasta


from Molly, age 8, UK

knock knock
who’s there?
interrupting sheep
interrupt...
baaaaa!!

customer: waiter waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
waiter: keep it down or else every one will want one! 

customer: what's this fly doing in my soup?!

waiter: i think its learning to swim, mam.

There was a dog,
floppy ears...

 

 

... long pause


from John, age 11, USA

Q: Why do dogs fart?

A:  If they don't they'll explode!


from Aeryn, age 7, USA

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?

A: Because 7 8 9!


Ruby, age 10, UK, has sent so many jokes that I've made a separate page for them all. See them here.
(I think I may have seen one or two before!)


from Samarth, age 7, USA

there once was a man who said "i need a curtain for my computer". the shop keeper said "why for your computer?" the man said "because my computer has windows".


from Alexandra, age 10, England

Q. What did the elevator say to the other elevator?

A. I think im coming down with something!


from Shruthi, age 6, USA

there was a teacher and a boy the teacher asked the boy to name the four seasons. Salt peeper sugar and spice replied the boy


from Dan, age 10, Philippines

Q: What did the organic tomato said to the GE tomato?
A: You look different!


from Jessica, age 11, England

Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye?
A: There is something that smells between us.


from Lenny, age 12, Philippines.
Lenny has sent me SIX jokes!

Joke 1:
Q: What do you get when a rooster and a bison start an argument?
A: a cock and bull story!

Joke 2:
Q: Why do sharks like to kill?
A: because they are cold-blooded!

Joke 3:
Q: What did the stag say to his doe wife?
A: I love you, deer!

Joke 4:
Q: Why can't polar bears eat penguins?
A: because they are too COOL to care!

Joke 5:
Q: Why do fishes smell?
A: Baths are good, but too much of a good thing is bad.

Joke 6:
Q: Why is it good to have a snake for a librarian?
A: For if you yell in fear, she'd only say "Ssssshhh!"



from Tadiwanashe, age 12, South Africa

The pin : I have a pain
The doctor : I see the point

Q: What is the laziest mountain in the whole world?
A: Mount Everest

Q: Which mountain kills people just like that?
A: because kanjalo is zulu it means "just like that"

The mother says ''i'm in labour''
The child says "What kind of job will you be doing''


from Reana, age 9, UK

Servent: Sir I want to quit the job because you dont trust me!
Sir: What do you mean? i put alot of keys on this table!
Servent: But none of them open your safe with money inside!


from Ella, age 8, New Zealand

Will you know me in a second?
Will you know me in a minute?
will you know me in a day?
Will you know me in a week?
Will you a know a month?
Will you know me in a year?
Will you know me in a century?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
See you have forgotten me already.


from Derek, age 11, Scotland

You are so stupid you sit on the TV and watch the couch

Who, me????!!


from Lucas, age 12, UK

JOKE1
Q. What do you call a purple fish?
A. A purpish!!!

JOKE 2 Q. What do you call a medieval cyborg computer?
A. A MEDBORCOM!!!


from Jasmin, age 9, UK

Q: why do witches wear name tags?
A: so they know which one is wich.


from Shayan, age 8, Bangladesh

I am a puppet
You are a muppet
???


from shareenaz, age 9, Malaysia

Q. why did the banana went to the doctor
A. because it wasent filling well


from Johnathon, age 7, Australia

Q:why did the golfer where 2 pair of underpants
A:just in case he got a hole in 1!

Johnathon adds, "it mite not be good enough but iam happy to sent it to you". Well I think it WAS good enough, don't you?


from Hillary, age 9, Japan

knock knock
who's there
will you remember me in a week
yes/yeah
will you remember in a month
yes/yeah
will you remember me in a year
yes/yeah

knock knock
who's there
see you've forgotten me alredy


from Tom, age 15, Australia

Wat iz a spelling bee? Not me.


from Maia, age 11, UK

A Polar Bear walked into a pub and said “I would like a .............” and the bar man said "why the bigs paws"!!! Hahaha!!!

An Anteater walked into the pub and said "I would like a pint of guiness please" and the bar man said "why the long face"!!! Hahaha!!!


from Annika, age 8, Canada

Q: What is the opposite of a triceratops ?
A: a tricerabottoms get it ? hahha!


from Daniel, age 10, Honduras

Q: What do you call a female bug?
A: A lady bug!


from Sebastian, age 9, U.S.A

Ron: Would you yell at me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: No.
Ron: Good. because I didn’t do my HOMEWORK!

Son: It’s a good thing you named me Steve.
Mom: Why?
Son: Because that’s what all the kids call me!

Q: What state do pencils come from?
A: Pencil-vania!


from Laura, age 10, New Zealand

once there where three boys poo,manners and shut up they where riding
there bikes down the street poo fell off and manners stopped to help
him shut up kept on going he ran into a police man whats your name
the police man asked him shut up he replied wheres your manners said
the police man around the corner picking up poo replied shut up


from Mish-al, age 9, Maldives

Q. Why did the bubble gum cross the road?
A. Because it was stuck on the chickens leg.

Q. Why did the vampire cross the road?
A. Because it was stuck on the chickens neck.

Q. Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?
A. Because there was a wolf waiting for him on the other side.

Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the jungle?
A. because chicken’s didn’t evolve yet and roads weren’t invented yet.


from Thalya, age 12, Canada

Q; What’s black and white and red all over
A; News paper : because red = read


from Sumayya, age9, India

? ?Q:why did the bear's house disapper?
A:from starting only there was no house so how can it be disapper.

Sorry Sumayya. I don't get this. Maybe it's just me !!????


from Elly, age 10, New Zealand

What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk!

Knock, knock,
Who's there?
Narnia
Narnia who?
Narnia business!

2 Irish men were waling through a forest. They came to a sign saying 'Tree Fellas Wanted'. One guy said to the other, pity there's only 2 of us!


from Samantha, age 10, Scotland

A man went to the doctors and said doctor doctor I have a strawberry on my head
the doctor said I think I have some cream for that

Q:Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
A: he had no body to go with

Q: Why did the pig cross the road?
A: it was the chickens day off


from Brenda, age 11, U.S.A.

me: what is a teddy bear, Is a teddy bear ,BUT its not a teddy bear?
brother: i don't know.What?
me: TWO teddy bears!
brother: What!No
me: yea look here's why :but is not A teddy bear !
brother: Oh I get it!



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